Naruto's Dilemma
by DigiFawks
Summary: Naruto's world turned upside down when his first child died in the hands of a kidnapper. What happens when Sakura tells Naruto that she's pregnant again? Will he get over his depression so easily, or will he dwell in what happened in the past? NaruSaku.


Disclaimer: Nope, we don't own Naruto...

Author's Note: This oneshot is a sort of ... well built-in story for our other story NEW LEAVES.

But if you don't, then we might as well explain. Naruto sort of loses his first child, Sakiko when she's kidnapped. He fails to save her, resulting in her death and so he gets depressed. In the first chapter of NEW LEAVES, we've made him sort of happy so ... that's why we decided to make this oneshot. In order to explain why he got over his depression ... sort of ...

Anyways. Yeah, he's married to Sakura ... and he brought Sasuke back. Please enjoy!

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"Naruto ..."

Blue eyes flickered towards the doorway of the bedroom, resting upon the silhouette of a young woman leaning against the door. They searched her face, searching for signs of any emotion but it was well concealed in the dark. Giving up, he turned back to staring out the window in a slouch that he had been in before he was interrupted.

"Naruto, I need to talk to y -"

"Not now, Sakura ..." he croaked out at last. He closed his eyes briefly and opened them again, a flicker of determination appearing. "Please ..."

From the corner of his eye, he watched her make her way slowly towards him. He flinched when she placed her hand gently upon his shoulder. She rubbed it soothingly before running her hand through his blonde hair. He fought hard to resist what he didn't want to feel. Satisfaction.

"Naruto ..." she whispered. "I know you're scared ... I-I am too ..."

He stayed quiet, not wanting to open his mouth in fear of something wrong coming out. He pressed his lips tightly together, closing his eyes. He was still in shock over the news that he had received this afternoon. He felt that same thrilling, frightened sensation ... and it took all he had to resist it. It took everything he had not to get his hopes up again, in fear they may fall.

"Naruto ... please ... I know that you – we will never forget what happened to us that day ... "

He bit his lip as he heard her voice break at the end. He clenched his fists together in an attempt to calm himself. He heard her take a deep breath before starting again, "B-But I c-can't do this ... w-without ... Naruto ... please ... I-I ..."

Naruto stood up from where he was perched on the end of the armchair, making her withdraw her hand. He was breathing heavily now, running his hands through his hair. He heard her catch her breath from behind him.

"Naruto – I need you! P-Please ... I-I need this b -"

He walked out before she could finish what she had to say. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to hear it. His heart ached painfully as he heard her sobs behind him as he walked away from the bedroom. Swallowing hard, he made his way out of the large building. Ignoring the people around him on the streets, he concentrated on making his mind clear. To avoid all pain. But it only brought back what had happened three days ago.

"_N-Naruto ..."_

"_Hmm? Sakura – what's wrong? A-Are you crying? What happened?"_

_..._

"_Sakura! Talk to me. Is everything alright?"_

"_I ... I ..."_

"_I? Sakura, please tell me!"_

"_I'm pregnant."_

He returned home late that night. Making sure she was asleep before settling down beside her. He hated himself right now. Hated himself for giving her as much pain as he had. It killed him, seeing dried tear tracks on her face, her lips torn from where she had bitten down on them. He so wanted to take back how he had acted when she told him. He had turned his back on her, no pity shown at all.

But ... it wasn't his fault for acting the way he had. He didn't want to make that same sacrifice. He didn't want to go through all that he had when _she_ was alive. The memories were so fresh in his mind, almost as if they had been embedded recently. And it did seem like that. There never was a day when he couldn't see her cheerful face in his mind, her mouth opening to form the words that would make him want to soar the skies. But along with those memories came the images. Her pained expression ... blood ... her screams.

He shuddered hard, letting out a quick breath. He turned to lay on his back, putting his arm over his eyes. He tried to shut everything out but like every time, it failed. He had nightmares again that night.

The next morning, he got up early before Sakura. He didn't want to face her yet. He hadn't bothered to eat breakfast as well and left for the office as soon as he changed into his cloak. It was the same routine day after day. He'd leave the mansion with the same schedule in his hands. Go to office, do paperwork, attend meeting, some more paperwork, check letters ... and finally, go home to rest. But now he couldn't. When he reached his office, he found another load of paperwork waiting on his table. He emotionlessly stumbled towards the desk, showing no frustration or annoyance.

"Good morning, Hokage-sama!" his assistant cheerfully greeted him.

Naruto mumbled in response before seating himself down, reaching for the first pile. The day went by just as he'd expected. Council meetings, a message from Sunagakure, two ninja from Iwagakure and more paperwork. It just wasn't enough to distract him from his thoughts. He was vaguely aware of his attendants exchanging curious glances and whisperings to each other, obviously about him, but he could care less.

So he was really surprised when he found him there waiting for him in his office. Him, of all people. Naruto quickly composed his face into the same stoic mask he had worn all day and just walked past him, muttering, "What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you, Naruto ..."

Naruto sighed loudly. A lot of people had been wanting to talk to him a lot lately. He slumped down on his chair and brought his paperwork forward, frowning. He scribbled so hard on the blanks that the pen made a hole through the page. Scowling, he crumpled up the paper in his hands and threw it towards the waste basket. He got even more annoyed when he saw it miss the basket and fall on floor.

He glared at the man who was now sitting across the desk from him, "What the hell do you want, Sasuke?"

"Why are you so angry?"

"Answer my question!"

Sasuke folded his arms across his chest and frowned, "Yeah, I guess I should quit beating round the bush. I saw Sakura at the hospital today."

And immediately, Naruto knew what this was all about. He reached out to take a scroll from the holder and pretended to flip through it, "So?"

"So? So? Is that all you have to say, Naruto?"

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"I know she's pregnant, Naruto ... have you seen the state she's in?"

Naruto didn't know what to say. He settled to staring straight at Sasuke, silently daring him to say more. The Uchiha, apparently, decided to take the challenge.

"She needs you, dammit, Naruto! I thought you were so bent on this family-thing. I knew there was something wrong from the start when I first saw her. She wouldn't even answer any questions I asked. It wasn't till Tsunade told me about her condition that I understood -"

"If you understand so much, then why the hell are you here -"

"To bring you back to the real world. Don't think I don't know how it's like to lose someone close! I do! But it was you the one who showed me how to move on. And ironically, you're not taking your own advice."

"Sasuke ..." Naruto sobered up. He tried to swallow the lump that was in his throat, afraid of letting all he had trapped inside out. "Sasuke ... I-I can't ... I ... I don't want to make that same mistake ..."

"Sakiko."

Naruto's heart felt like it had stopped at that name. His eyes widened and he released a choked gasp. Sasuke started back, a determined expression on his face. Naruto felt his arms shaking, and he clutched at the armrest.

"Sakiko ... your daughter... I know, Naruto. You're thinking about her ... you're thinking that you won't be able to protect your unborn child. That you'll make the same mistake. That you're not right to be a father."

As Sasuke said this, Naruto felt himself being drowned in an ocean of black. He bit his bottom lip hard and closed his eyes, now feeling the real pain he had been holding back. He reached up to cover his face only to feel wetness on his cheeks. Tears.

"Listen to me. I know I wasn't there to witness Sakiko's death, but I knew she loved you. And you tried hard ... she knew that ... it won't do you any good if you're bent on following the wrong path."

Naruto heard the chair in front of him being pulled back and heard Sasuke stand up. Naruto quickly looked up only to find Sasuke scrutinizing him. There was a look of what seemed like disappointment in his features. Sasuke stepped back, walking backwards to the door. "You decide, Uzumaki ..."

And he left. Naruto couldn't help but release a yell of frustration. He pressed his forehead against the wood of his desk and clutched his hair between his fingers. No ANBU or any other ninja came running in to check on him to see if he was hurt. Naruto was sure he had Sasuke to thank for that. He breathed in deeply, his mind at a few different places at once. He felt so torn up.

"_D-Daddy …" Sakiko whimpered, sniffling._

"_It's too late, Hokage-sama!"_

_Naruto kept his eyes locked on his daughter. He brushed her reddish pink hair out of her eyes and pleaded with her, "I'm h-here. P-Please Sakiko, look at me … d-don't close your eyes …"_

After his shift was over, Naruto found himself wandering the streets with no possible direction to go. He walked sluggishly eastwards, worn out from all that emotion he had let out. He could feel the pain so freshly. And he knew it would never stop. That pain of loss. He didn't want to endure it again. What if he couldn't protect his unborn child? What if it happened again? He didn't think he could stand that. He dragged his feet through a dark street, still lost in his thoughts.

Suddenly, something bumped into him from behind. He jumped, immediately turning around in a quick reflex. His hand inched towards his kunai holster and he narrowed his eyes as he set them on the little shape beside him. But he froze over as soon as he heard that shape ask, "Daddy?"

Sweat trickled down his forehead. The little child reached out for him, stumbling on his feet. Naruto watched silently as the child composed herself before trying again to come towards him. Then, as her fingers curled themselves around Naruto's cloak, the child chirped a cry of victory. "Daddy!"

Before Naruto could even act, he was blinded by a sudden bright light. He raised his arm over his eyes, tripping back. He heard a deep, male voice call out from close by, "Shikako." It was followed by another cry, this time of realization.

Blinking sharply, Naruto looked forward to find none other than Nara Shikamaru staring back at him. In his arms, he held a little girl. He dirty-blonde hair was pulled back in a short ponytail and her brown eyes blinked timidly back at Naruto. She was probably the same child who had startled him. Shikamaru's four-year-old daughter. They were standing just outside his house, and the porch light was open.

"Naruto," Shikamaru stated rather than asked.

Naruto nodded unsteadily, "Shikamaru ..."

"I would ask you what you were doing here, but then again; I wouldn't want to know ..." Shikamaru turned his gaze onto his daughter who was snuggling up against his shoulder. He rolled his eyes, "So troublesome ... how many times have we warned you not to go outside alone? Honestly ... it's such a drag ..."

"Sorry Daddy."

Naruto watched as Shikako giggled and patted her palm against her father's cheek. Shikamaru immediately softened up. He clicked his tongue and adjusted her in his arms, shaking his head, "Your troublesome mother was going to put my head in a platter if she ever found out I accidently let you slip by me ..."

As if on cue, they all heard someone shouting from within the Nara household. "SHIKAMARU! Come inside, it's time for dinner – and bring Shikako!"

Shikamaru chuckled, "OK, let's go ..."

Naruto kept on staring. Shikamaru, noticing this, shrugged, misinterpreting his expression for something else. The Nara grinned, "You know kids ... you can't ever be angry at them. It's just too hard to avoid ... no matter how troublesome it is. I bet you'd be surprised hearing this from me of all people."

For the second time that day, Naruto was speechless. Shikamaru continued, "We're gonna have to work hard if we want this generation to prevail ... it's a ninja's life. Can't live without it, can't live with it ..."

Naruto felt a small flash of warmth within himself while he watched Shikamaru nuzzle into Shikako's hair. He felt different. A little strange. Shikamaru walked back into the house with Shikako, leaving Naruto with a new trail of thought.

_Sasuke ... Shikamaru ..._

He understood now. He knew he'd never forget what happened, and he's always be haunted by that memory. Sasuke's talk hadn't completely deprived him of that. But it taught him something else. He now had a new life to protect. He had to lead a future. He wanted to be a father all over again, this time completely.

Sakura stood at the counter of the hospital, looking down at the register. She ticked off her name swiftly and passed it to the receptionist who smiled at her. It was half-sympathetic, half-pleasant. Sakura didn't like that. She forced a smile and turned away to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. She absentmindedly raised a hand to rest it on her stomach, swallowing down bile. She had just came back from the bathroom after throwing up all of her breakfast. Although she had brushed her teeth twice, she didn't feel fresh. She sighed, trying to hold back the pain that was threatening to overwhelm her. She just didn't know what to do. Four times, she had tried to walk into the abortion unit, but failed to step in. She'd always turn her back, her hand resting on her stomach protectively. But she couldn't keep it as well. Not when she needed him so much.

She reached out to press button on the wall but gasped as she felt strong arms wrap themselves around her shoulders. She was pulled backwards, too shocked to scream and before she could think of anything else, she was swung around. Her eyes widened as she came face-to-face with Naruto. Her eyes trained on his face, letting in the flushed cheeks, the lopsided grin and the twinkle in his blue eyes. She gasped again as he pulled her against him in a strong, but warm hug. She stood there, too paralyzed to move. She felt him move his lips to her ear and she shivered as his warm breath touched her.

"Sakura-chan ..." he breathed. "I love you ..."

She was too surprised by all of this. She blinked and stuttered, "M-Me too but why -?"

"I'm so sorry for how I acted. I ... I was such an idiot. But I promise, Sakura-chan – I'll never leave you! I'll be there for you and the baby! I want to be a good father! I want to love this baby!"

Sakura blinked twice, her eyes watering up. She smiled shakily and reached around him to hug him back. She knew she was crying, but she couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry ... I was just thinking of Sakiko ... a-and I ... I just don't want to lose anyone like that again. I was afraid to make a fool of myself ..." Naruto admitted, leaning back so he could look her in the eyes. "But I won't ... I can't forget her ... but I have to stop disappointing my family ..."

"Uzumaki Naruto," Sakura murmured, staring him in the eyes. "I love you ..."

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his in a loving kiss that sent her heart flying. He responded back, almost lifting her off her toes. Happiness flooded through her as she felt Naruto wrap one arm around her waist, placing one gently on her stomach.

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Author's Note: Whew! (blushes) ... we ... we never made an ending like that before, but well ... what do you expect? Anyways, we know we made the ending rather quick ... but it's way past midnight and we had to explain what Sasuke meant. Sorry if he seemed to ... well, talkative but Naruto was in a real situation. And of course, Naruto had to break out of his shell ... and we'm sure you can all guess who Shika's wife is.:D

Oh boy ... just please review and tell me what you think! Until next time! ^^


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